Leana Si Costel - Mafia -

A dusty porch. Costel is wearing a dirty tank top and a mismatched hat. Leana is holding a wooden spoon like a weapon.

Here is a prepared text—a comedic monologue/dialogue script—inspired by their specific style of "village mafia" humor. LEANA SI COSTEL - MAFIA

(Hits him with the spoon) Here’s your "offer," Costele! Go protect the potato patch from the Colorado beetles, or I’ll show you a "Soprano" move that’ll make you sing like a soprano for a week! A dusty porch

You don’t understand "omerta," Leano. Silence is golden! From now on, I don't pay for the bread at the bakery. I provide "protection." You don’t understand "omerta," Leano

(Striking a pose) I’m making them an offer they can't refuse. Either they give me a bottle of wine, or... or I’ll sit on their fence and sing folk songs until they go deaf! That’s psychological warfare, Leano!

(Whispering loudly) Leano! Be quiet, woman! Don't you see I'm on a secret mission? I’m the Don of the village now. I’ve joined the Mafia!

Protection from what? From your own shadow? The only thing people need protection from is the smell of your socks after a day in the field!